Peeps answered Friday December 19 , I'm 22 and dating a wonderful 38 year old man. We started dating when I was In my experience, it's been more positive seeing an older man in that he is, well, more experienced in life. He has already gone through what I will go through with growing up. He's already worked at various jobs and dealt with the assholes and creeps at certain types of places.
He's already been where I'm heading and is more than willing to help me make it through this time in my life. The thing is, he can steer me in the right direction. If I listen to him, he can definately help me make right choices and avoid incidents that happened to him when he went through it years ago. He knows how to effectively communicate and get his thoughts and ideas through. It, obviously, helps that he cares about me ; but it's nice to know he can safely tell me how to handle things from his previous experiences.
Maturity level is high for older men. They have stopped wasting time years ago if they're even decently intelligent. They have a better idea of how to treat a lady usually my man opens doors for me, helps me out to the vehicle, carries the heavy things up to his house, buys me dinner, takes me out to movies, etc etc.
If they aren't currently married, they are probably looking at their futures and how they want to end up a few years down the road. This doesn't mean they want to jump the gun and get married right away--but they do know what type of person they want to be with in a couple years. The fact of the matter is there will always be someone out there, older or younger, that will try to manipulate you. This is why you have to have firm beliefs and standards. Put your foot down for what you believe.
Sexually speaking, I've seen more younger guys manipulate women into doing things they weren't sure of wanting to do. I've seen 21 year old guys talk openly with each other about raping young women. More men in their early twenties are going out to the clubs, getting wasted, picking up random strange women to sleep with, and not caring about other human beings in general. If a man cannot put their entire selves into a relationship with you or anyone else then how can you expect to rely on them in difficult times?
You see, guys in their early 20s are new to this adult things and get frightened easily, whereas a man in his 30s or 40s already KNOWS if he can overcome a particular hurdle or not. I'm not saying that older men are better because they are more mature which, obviously, they are but I'm saying that there will always be someone out there that wants to take advantage of you despite their age, race, or wealth.
The trick is to keep your eyes and ears peeled out for these sorts of people. Don't hang out with pervy guys. Don't hang out with guys who have used women they usually speak openly about this at some point. Don't see men who are into things you are not comfortable with. If a guy is going out to the bar and getting smashed every weekend then expect him to be making poor choices, especially in the sex department.
A man in his late 30s will drink and have a good time on the weekend. Not in a crowd. Maybe a buddy or two around. Not enough alcohol to vomit and have a terrible hang-over. He's learned years ago how to have a good time without over-doing it. A man in his early-to-mid 20s will drink and have a good time on the weekend. Happily drunken in a crowd of strangers.
Enough to get completely wasted so that the following days will be completely forgotten, including the women he picked up the first night. He repeats this same thing every weekend, forcing his body to go through hell. Older men know what they want and how to get it, for the most part.
Younger men have an idea of what they want and are still testing the waters. It's okay to be attracted to older men, as long as you can stand firm for what you believe. All guys see you as young and inexperienced. You have to have morals set. You have to know what you want. You have to not put yourself into bad situations and play everything as safely as possible. Be prepared for an older man to start showing up with gray hair or begin balding mine is bald and has a touch of gray.
Be prepared for him to go through some health problems as he ages because they say the 20s are the healthiest time for us all.
Be prepared for him to be set in his ways--he is probably now happily doing whatever it is that he is doing and you're not going to magically change him overnight or in a period of a few days suggestions are happily taken though. Be prepared for him to already know what you're going through and think of you as a little silly when you tell him you have absolutely no clue as to how to solve the problem at hand--simply because he knows you've overlooked the solution twice already.
Be prepared for him to either want children very much or to not want them at all, ever. By this point in life, the man has pretty much made up his mind if he wants any or more or not. He also may have been married by now so it may take him a much longer time before deciding to take the leap and propose--he has long learned that it isn't something to throw around lightly.
I hope things go well with you and you find out what you truly want in life. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask me! Age is not just a number: It's a solid gauge for life experience and a loose one for maturity and self-awareness.
Having said that, 21 is an adult in every legal sense, so no, there is no technical reason that it could be called 'too young'. In my opinion, it simply falls under the 'Probably a bad idea' heading. Hey age is just a number You are old enough to make your own decisions in the situation. It is indeed a big age gap. But age is just a number. If the two of you click than why not? The age gap is a bit of a shock factor, but when it comes down to it, if the two are in similar situations, and agree to make it work, I don't see why not.
My 22 year old friend married a 40 year old, and they are happy and successful. On the other hand, my 21 year old friend dated a 37 year old with kids, and they did nothing but fight until he eventually dumped her. So really, it depends on the people, especially the maturity of the younger. Good luck and much love! Your'e legal, you can drink, you can smoke, your an adult. There is nothing much to it. If you like him, so be it no matter what the age gap is.
I think at 21 the girl should be able to make her own adult decision on that.