Though many people use the term in an attempt to maintain space, push off commitment and implement some distance, in my opinion, what it really means is this: We have a tendency to complicate dating and to hover in uncertainty and ambiguity for far too long.
But this verse reminds us that simplicity is important when it comes to our communication with others—including others of the opposite sex. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no. There is definitely a time and place for casual. But eventually, you have to move on. Are You Past the Point of Casual? Again, there is a time and place for casual. That time is called the stage of the firsts: In the early stages of dating, a relationship should always be casual.
At this point, there is no need for thinking ahead, commitments or exclusive promises. The first few months of dating can be considered casual, because the direction up ahead is still unclear. But what turns a relationship from casual to committed? The answer is always time. Within a few months, the very nature of a relationship turns from casual to committed.
The time that you spend together, the conversations you exchange and the affection you begin to develop can no longer be considered casual. Once you have entered this stage of a relationship, your expectations are naturally heightened. If you are the one longing to be casual, you need to ask yourself why.
Why do you hesitate to go deeper with this person? For some, the baggage of their past brings fears of future, commitment and permanency. For others, the relationship itself is not all that they had thought it would be. Rather than helping you make a decision, casual dating keeps you stuck in confusion longer than you ever intended to stay. It paralyzes you from making a choice, and it keeps you stagnant in mediocrity rather than moving forward toward fulfillment.
If you are comfortable in a casual relationship, consider what it is that is keeping you from moving forward. Maybe you need to take it up a notch and communicate your honest feelings and commitment. Have You Counted the Cost? For those who are living within the comfort of a casual relationship, there is always a cost.
Relationships are meant to be exciting, fulfilling and healthy. They are made to grow, to stretch and to mature. They are meant to deepen in intimacy, connection and love.
If you are at a standstill within the world of casual dating, you have to really ask yourself what you are missing out on. There is always a cost. Casual may be taking the place of commitment. You may be entertaining a casual relationship at the expense of clarity and certainty. Maybe by waiting for things to magically change, you are missing out on the change that could be taking place inside of you. As it turns out, relationships are not really as complicated as we make them.
Healthy relationships progress easily, deepen steadily and develop passionately. It does not weigh pros and cons or wander back and forth. This article appeared in an earlier form at TrueLoveDates. Like content like this? Click here to subscribe.