I have a second article on this topic… Check out part 2! Many of these men will be on the dating scene having previously been married; if anything, divorcees are the dating norm nowadays. But if you are the aforementioned woman and you find you are dating a fella over 40 who has never been married, or at least in a co-habiting, long-term marriage-equivalent relationship, is it always that case that there is a reason for his eternal singledom? This question reminds me of a rather perceptive quotation from the terrifyingly-accurate fictional doyenne of dating, Bridget Jones: Will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: You see, modern dating causes the smart girl to ask WHY her current squeeze has never managed to make it work with a woman.
Feel free, dear reader, to add your experiences of crazy cat-ladies and such like in the comments section… So. I suggest that you ask yourself whether he falls neatly into any of the following categories: The Daniel Cleaver Part-sexaholic, part emotional fuckwit, the Daniel Cleaver has never been married because, put simply, it would make it tricky for him to remain a womaniser. But only ever on a temporary basis. You can sometimes identify a Daniel Cleaver by the power of social media: You get the picture.
The commitment-phobe These are the guys who you might describe as serial-monogamists. Almost always in this situation, she leaves him rather than him ending the relationship. The mere concept of change utterly terrifies him. This chap is not deliberately single; if anything, he desperately wants to be in a fulfilling relationship. But he subconsciously pushes against togetherness due to the phobia of losing some control, independence, sense of self, or the horror that is a woman who might leave the scatter cushions in the wrong order.
The workaholic This is the man who defines himself by his job. His perception of himself is entirely based on his perception of his success at work. But his status-anxiety leads him to believe that work is the single most important aspect of a man and this leaves little space in his schedule for devoting to a gerbil, never mind relationships. The star-crossed Romeo Remember Romeo and Juliet? Their love for each other was intense, to the exclusion of all rational thought.
This chap has loved a woman with all his heart. She cannot be replaced. Just like Romeo and Juliet, it is tragic, heart-breaking, and in the end he dies alone.
Quite probably through no fault of his own. Nobody ever said that life was fair. Feel free to add to this list ladies. Who have I missed?