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Dating a professor in grad school

Dating a professor in grad school

October 30, I've been a member of this forum for a little while but have created this "secret-name" in an attempt to remain even more anonymous about this particularly sensitive subject. I'm dating a former undergrad professor. I spent my last semester and part of the summer working in his lab to gain experience for my grad applications. We started dating in July two months after my graduation - nothing happened before then, not even discussion of dating and plan to continue dating while I am in grad school.

We have tried to keep the relationship as covert as possible and very few people from my undergrad institute know about it. That said, we are both reluctant to lie about it and eventually plan to be a little more open. I will probably move to a new, but nearby town for grad school. I would like to be friends with my fellow students. If he visits and meets them and they ask how we met I'm worried that it might be hard to lie about it he is in the same field and they will probably figure it out even if we do lie.

He is tenured and well-established and has nothing to worry about. Although this relationship does not violate any policies, I am sure it will be frowned upon and that, because I am younger and less established, I will be negatively affected.

My main question to this forum is what would you think if you were another student in my department? If I tell people that I am dating a former professor will I be immediately ostracized? Will people assume that we had been dating since I was 18 and he just pulled some strings to get me into grad school and I am not independently worthy? Or will my fellow students be uninterested in this romance at all? I am trying to decide whether or not I should keep it covert until I am more established.

However, that's not exactly around the corner. I'm leaving my undergrad institution but am remaining in the same general within a 5 hour drive area. The age difference is not very significant. We are in the same field.

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Dating a professor in grad school

October 30, I've been a member of this forum for a little while but have created this "secret-name" in an attempt to remain even more anonymous about this particularly sensitive subject. I'm dating a former undergrad professor. I spent my last semester and part of the summer working in his lab to gain experience for my grad applications. We started dating in July two months after my graduation - nothing happened before then, not even discussion of dating and plan to continue dating while I am in grad school.

We have tried to keep the relationship as covert as possible and very few people from my undergrad institute know about it. That said, we are both reluctant to lie about it and eventually plan to be a little more open. I will probably move to a new, but nearby town for grad school. I would like to be friends with my fellow students.

If he visits and meets them and they ask how we met I'm worried that it might be hard to lie about it he is in the same field and they will probably figure it out even if we do lie.

He is tenured and well-established and has nothing to worry about. Although this relationship does not violate any policies, I am sure it will be frowned upon and that, because I am younger and less established, I will be negatively affected. My main question to this forum is what would you think if you were another student in my department? If I tell people that I am dating a former professor will I be immediately ostracized? Will people assume that we had been dating since I was 18 and he just pulled some strings to get me into grad school and I am not independently worthy?

Or will my fellow students be uninterested in this romance at all? I am trying to decide whether or not I should keep it covert until I am more established.

However, that's not exactly around the corner. I'm leaving my undergrad institution but am remaining in the same general within a 5 hour drive area. The age difference is not very significant. We are in the same field.

Dating a professor in grad school

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2 Comments

  1. There is a good possibility of bad feelings within the department, but this is true if a dual hired pair goes through a divorce, or two tenure track faculty fall in love. Different department, different subfield is very similar to the discussion about dating people in a different field altogether.

  2. I was going through a fairly stressful time then found out my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer and it definitely reflected in my assignments.

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