A female friend and sometimes running partner of the Shallow Man was having a massage in a place in the Rivierenbuurt. The Shallow Man has met many an expat lady that has been on dates with Dutch men that have not led to happy endings. Several disappointed, international antelope, have asked me where they went wrong in their pursuit of the Dutch Lion. The Shallow Man, is, as always, sensitive to the needs of his expat flock.
Therefore, at considerable risk to my bespoke tailored three-piece suit wearing self, I have put together a list of deadly mistakes to avoid when dating Dutch men. The things I do for my readers! That in itself would be reason enough for every Dutch male to get down on their hands and knees and thank God, Buddha or Allah that they are lucky enough to be born here, but they have an even better reason to be blissfully happy. Dutch women are, in the opinion of the shallow man, the most predatory women on planet earth.
The Dutch female selects the man she is interested in with the precision of a special forces sniper, aiming at a target. The Dutch female is often not particularly interested or fazed by the fact that their target could be married, in a relationship or even as the Shallow Man has witnessed with his own eyes, have their girlfriend present.
The Dutch ladies are relentless once they have set their sights on a target. The antelope calls the shots and the Lion simply needs to drink his biertjes and wait to be hunted.
Deadly Dating Mistake Number 1 Flirting. Dutch men, used as they are to having antelope served to them on a denim covered plate, have missed out on this vital part of human relations during their development to adulthood. When out with a Dutch man on a first date, you could be having a lovely evening. He may even have made an attempt at flirting, romance is in the air, everything is looking promising until……….. The previously charming Dutchmen then breaks out into a cold sweat and looks at the bill, at you, at the bill, then at you again, and there is a silence so deep that you can hear the female mice in the cafe coughing.
Due to smoking, they are Dutch after all. Do not under any circumstances expect him to pay your part of the bill. Your date will immediately assess you as being high maintenance, while he drinks his glass of tap water.
Deadly Dating Mistake Number 4 Dressing up. He is likely to ask you what that stuff is on your face, and if you are planning to attend a wedding after the date.
The shallow man advises that on the day of the date, that you put your TV on Nederland een, between 7 and 9 and watch Vandaag de Dag. Look at how poorly dressed the presenters of this show are and simply copy them. That is what passes for high fashion here. Your date will love you and not fear for the money in his wallet. Dress more like her for success The Shallow Man Would like to thank all of the ladies that were kind enough to share your tales of dating woe with me.
Stevie Wonder was not hurt during the writing of this article. Tags Date Dutch men Dating dating mistakes with dutch men first date with Dutch men massage amsterdam massage happy ending seven deadly dating mistakes About Simon Woolcot Infamous blogger, annoyance and self-confessed Shallow Man.
Simon is a British expat who has lived in Amsterdam since As well as writing this blog, Simon also has a YouTube channel of the same name, writes and directs videos and hosts seminars about life in the Netherlands. He also works as a content marketing and SEO specialist.