Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me here , peruse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. My parents divorced when I was My Dad moved to another state, and I stayed with my mom. Being a single mom, she worked two jobs to make ends meet.
They had twins, John and Mary, the same age as me, and a younger son, Max, who was 6 years younger. Eventually my friendship with John became more than just a friendship. Mary was aware of what developed between John and me, and she did not object at all. Mary was obviously devastated.
I think it was too painful for us to hang out together, without John. The grief was unbearable. There were nights that I would wake up to the sound of John tapping on my window as he did almost daily when he was alive. I soon moved out of state, and Mary and I lost touch. Fast forward 12 years. Last year I moved back to my home town. I ran into Mary a couple of months ago at the grocery store.
She walked right up to me and we hugged and cried. Our friendship has started again, just about where it left off before John died. She is even working in the same office building as me now, so we have lunch together most days, and go out together on the weekends. She invited me to go out to celebrate with her and some of her friends. When she came to pick me up, her little brother, Max, was with her.
My heart dropped to the floor when I saw him. Max looks just like John. The resemblance is uncanny, and frankly, it shook me up just a bit. It was like seeing a ghost. Max said he remembered playing video games with me when he was a kid and how much fun I was to be around back then, and he gave me a big hug, and … I felt something. The attraction was apparently mutual.
Sparks were flying all night. On Monday morning, Mary told me that she could tell that Max was diggin me, and asked what I thought of him. She said she would not have any problems with us going out. So she gave Max my phone number. He just texted me asking if I want to get together for a drink this weekend. Should I go out with Max? Maybe neither of these things will be any big deal. And maybe knowing Max as an adult will give you an appreciation for him that is different than your memory of his brother whom you last saw when you were All you know now is that you are attracted to him, feel chemistry with him, share some personal history, and are forever connected to him by simple virtue of having grieved the loss of his brother whom you once loved.
Instead of being weird, maybe all of that is a foundation for what could be a great relationship.