Dating can be fun, even if you don't drink. Although many people expect alcohol to be a natural byproduct of dating, there are a bunch of fun activities you can do that don't involve drinking. You can avoid alcohol while dating by having a go-to non-alcoholic drink, avoiding bars, and committing to your reasons for ditching booze, whatever they may be.
There are plenty of perfectly good reasons not to drink alcohol. I'm just not here to make a case for—or against! Maybe you've given up booze for good, or never started drinking in the first place.
Maybe you're on the Whole Maybe your skin looked so dang good after Sober January you decided to just roll with it for as long as you could keep up the willpower. When you're sober for whatever reason , early-in-the-game dating can feel like a tricky situation to navigate. Alcohol is often called a "social lubricant," and it's true that many people feel loosened up after a glass of wine, a beer, or a cocktail.
Your sobriety shouldn't become a stumbling block to getting to know one another better. So own that decision. Don't hem and haw about it. Don't make excuses or apologize, or act awkward or defensive about it.
Refusing alcohol doesn't have to take a lot of effort. Shutterstock Honestly, this is true for every interaction with women, not just when it comes to your lifestyle choices about alcohol.
When you can't explain how you got into your field of work or study, or don't have an opinion on which movie should win Best Picture at the Oscars "Get Out" it's off-putting. Indecisiveness makes a woman question how thoughtfully and intentionally you live the rest of your life. So if you've made a decision not to drink alcohol, for good or just for right now, make sure you convey that you own that choice and feel good about it.
Have a go-to drink ready. Again, this is true whether you drink or don't, and relates to the point above. For non-drinkers, maybe it's as simple as a ginger ale with lime. Maybe it's an O'Doul's. Maybe it's a Shirley freakin' Temple. Women don't care; just be ready when the waiter or bartender shows up. It is not sexy to watch a guy dither—yes, dither —over a drink menu at a bar or restaurant. One time in LA, I scheduled a meeting at my hotel, right at that weird time in the afternoon where it could be early enough to order another coffee, or late enough to grab a cocktail.
I grabbed us a table not seats at the bar as I knew the person I was meeting was of a faith that meant there was a good chance he didn't drink, and ordered a pot of tea. I didn't have to, of course I own my choices, too , but I didn't know him very well and decided I wante d him to feel as comfortable as possible. Finally, I gestured to the now empty cup of tea in front of me and asked as politely as I could, "Are you going to order something?
Did I mention I was drinking tea? Order a Diet Coke. Personally, I would never do business with someone who felt so intimidated by something as straightforward as a drink order, and I certainly would never date them.
Don't go to a bar in the first place. If being around alcohol makes you uncomfortable, don't go to a bar or meet "for drinks" in the first place. At least not early on with a new romantic interest. Instead, go to a bowling alley. Go paint coffee mugs at a Color Me Mine.
Go for a walk. She really won't care what you two do if she's interested and if she's going out with you, I hope she is. There are a lot of great first date options that don't involve bars.
Shutterstock Your goal is to make this other person feel comfortable and at ease with you. If you're giving off "I'm so uneasy in this environment" vibes, that energy is going to rub off. So if being around alcohol is way out of your comfort zone, just don't put yourself in that situation. Have your "why I don't drink" elevator pitch ready to go. Especially if it's early days between the two of you, keep the reasons for your sobriety brief.
All you need to say if she asks about your choice to be sober is something short, like, "I realized I get a lot more done when I don't drink. Don't lie, of course, but don't get too deep with your explanation. As a woman, I want to be relieved of the feeling that follow-up questions are even necessary, and don't necessarily want to feel burdened with this big decision! For now, it's just another thing about you, like how many siblings you have, and where you went to college.
Keep it breezy and keep it light. If there's way more to the story, then tell her Understand that she might not be comfortable with your choice. If she decides she doesn't want to continue seeing you after learning that you don't drink, try not to read into it too deeply. It doesn't make her an alcoholic, and it doesn't mean anything's wrong with you and your decision, either. Hopefully both of those things are obvious, but in case they're not, go back and read that last paragraph again.
We'd all be a lot better off without projecting our own stories onto other people. You can't ask to delve into someone's psyche and figure out why it makes them uncomfortable for you not to drink, and honestly, it's probably not a good match if that's a deal breaker for her anyway.
Bid farewell as friends, and if you truly enjoy her company, try to keep her as a friend…. Read the original article on Style Girlfriend. Follow Style Girlfriend on Twitter. More from Style Girlfriend: