Share via Email Creepy, voyeuristic and dismal … Dating in the Dark. Alamy This feels like a weird thing to say, but Dating in the Dark is back this week. Five years after it vanished in a fartcloud of public disinterest, Dating in the Dark is back. And this is going to be on television. How on earth was this allowed to happen? I was there in the bad old days when Dating in the Dark was last on TV and, let me tell you, it died for several good reasons. For those of you who missed it first time around, which will be most of you because there were birdhouse webcams that got higher ratings, let me explain how Dating in the Dark worked.
There were some awful men and some awful women put up in a mansion. They would date each other, but only in total blackness. Theoretically, Dating in the Dark was a show designed to prove that true beauty comes from within.
In practise, though, it was dismal. The contestants were mostly an unattractive mix of cocky and needy. The dates were dull. There are small differences here and there — this new series is on ITV2 not Sky Living, Matthew Horne is narrating not Sarah Harding — but everything else appears to be business as usual.
This is a shame. Can Jeremy put a drumstick in his mouth and run to the other side of the room without tripping up and tearing a hole in his soft palate? That sort of thing. Why anyone would bother with unconvincing displays of affection when they could watch a procession of people hurt themselves is beyond me.
I am actively rooting against Dating in the Dark. I cannot allow it to succeed. What if they bring back Sing Date next? Dating in the Dark returns tonight on ITV2 at 9pm.