Mark my words, celestial fantasy horse. But eventually you run out of episodes and move on. You can trust people. Do not do this. Letting people in and trusting them to be different is a challenge for that type-AAA part of yourself that likes certainty, but there are no certainties in a relationship.
All you can do is push yourself to be as trusting and loving as you can be, even if that means you get hurt. Stop being afraid, or you might miss out on the Prince of Freedonia. Also, I happen to think that your dating mistakes can be kind of fun. We all need to kiss some losers to get to the one who makes you forget them. Not everything is your fault.
A lot of things are your fault. However, relationships and break-ups are a two-way street, and in most cases, both parties are equally at fault. As Boy Meets World and The Wonder Years prove, maturity is difficult and not all of us are perfect at it, so you can blame yourself for everything and make yourself feel like crap for not being perfect or accept that you have growing to do and work on it.
Shaming you about your body appearance is not okay. Do they constantly tell you that you need to lose weight, grow your hair out again or engage in A-B-C-D behaviors in order to be sexy? No, he took time out of our regularly scheduled programming to offer me some helpful body negativity. And rather than kicking him out of bed for being a total asshole, I continued to see him every week, letting him make comments about my hair, body hair, facial hair, clothing and eating habits.
I eat like a Gilmore Girl. He was my rebound from a rough breakup, and I needed him to validate my insecurity and brokenness. He was my depression enabler. I learned a lot from letting myself be walked all over in a way I told myself I never would be.
I learned that words matter, and no one has the right to dictate your appearance. You can be honest about your feelings without scaring the crap out of them.
We all have this tendency when we start feeling someone to put all of our feels in a box and not talk about them, lest we end in a Taylor Swift song.
My best friend started seeing someone I actually approve of — which is a fucking Festivus miracle — and took this as license to start seeing him all the time. We all do it. Steve said the funniest thing the other day. He saw Holy Motors and actually understood it. Besides, the person you are seeing is going to respect you a whole lot more as a human being with their own things happening if you establish your independence early on.
Instead of throwing everything in the relationship bag, setting it on fire like dog poo and letting it burn out, let your relationship be a slow burn. Agency is so much sexier.