Is it normal for a guy to withdraw in a relationship? Before I can talk about a guy withdrawing, I need to talk about relationships in general.
Exactly Why Men Withdraw From Relationships For example, in the beginning, both of you might feel a lot of excitement and also an undercurrent of fearful restlessness.
The excitement is on thinking about all the things they like about you. The fear is rooted in insecurities: What are they feeling? I really like you too! In the beginning phase of a relationship, the guy wants you to like him and wants to know that you do.
This is a normal and healthy thing. So one of the ways they might see if you like them is to do and say anything they can think of that they think you would like. What Do Men Like in a Woman? In the beginning of a relationship, both men and women may be insecure whether or not the other person likes them. In order to calm their insecurity, they will do and say whatever they can think of to make the other person like them. He feels secure and he feels the current relationship dynamic is secure.
This is around the time where things are starting to get comfortable: Or so you think… What will determine if you actually do get into a relationship with him? A couple of things: Is he open to having an exclusive, long-term relationship with you?
If you have a guy who is not open to getting into a relationship with you, a scenario like this might play out: The reason he gives is just to soften the blow. It makes me sad to see, but there are a lot of relationships I see where the guy is insecure and wants to make sure the woman likes him.
He does all sorts of things to woo her and win her over, but simultaneously, he for whatever reason does not want to be in an exclusive relationship. And now the woman and man are in a holding pattern: The woman stays in the relationship dynamic because she thinks it is making progress towards a relationship. But the problem here is this: I mean, think about it: He already knows you have decided to be exclusive to him. So from his perspective, this is a perfect situation: He still gets to be technically single but also has your ongoing exclusive commitment, sex, and companionship.
When a Guy Withdraws After Sex While in the beginning, his insecurity was compelling him to do everything he could to woo you and win you over, now his insecurity is satisfied and his mind has moved on to other things.
He cancels plans, he goes MIA for days at a time, he acts distant. You will always feel like the relationship is just out-of-reach. You can avoid this from ever happening to you by following this simple guide: Relationships are easy when you choose a man who wants to be in a relationship. Relationships are impossible when you choose a man who does not want to be in a relationship. It sounds simple and it is.
Women make the mistake of thinking that you can choose anyone and then someone entice, convince or inspire him to want a relationship.
I have seen it happen the other way, where women are on the other side of the tables — pouring the sweetness on thick and then pulling back to test how much the guy will put up with.
The guy will all of a sudden realize that he does want a committed relationship with you and directly commit, or… The guy will know that he could lose you to another guy and, even still, do nothing to stop that from happening Either way, you win. So in other words, you either get into a clear relationship or you save yourself from weeks, months or years on a guy who was never going to commit in the way you wanted!
However, what if you are seeing a guy who wants a relationship or is at least open to one , but he seems to be withdrawing? One of the qualities of a healthy relationship is that you and your partner are able to give each other space. After almost a decade of working with men and women, it is almost guaranteed that whenever I see a partner withdrawing in a relationship, I see the other partner has trouble giving them space.
However, the fuel of all of your behavior in this case is rooted in fear and this gives off a vibe of desperation and neediness. It sucks the fun and enjoyment out of the relationship because instead of you being the fun, carefree, happy person you were when the relationship began, now spending time with you feels murky and serious and dark. Fear of loss is a self-fulfilling prophecy. That is to say, the fear of the problem actually becomes the cause of the problem.
He reassures you, but after some amount of time, you feel that fear again and seek reassurance. This repeats again and again, but your fear is like a bottomless pit and his reassurance is never enough. The overall mood of the relationship stops being light, open and fun. He starts trying to get some space so he can recharge his energy, but when he does, that triggers your fear of loss even more, causing it to be even more of a drain.
Now he feels like even taking space for himself is a trigger for your insecurities, so you unknowingly are cutting him off from the natural places where he recharges his own energy.
His mood starts to decline and he starts being less pleasant to be with. Arguments start or he starts displaying even more worrisome behavior, which stirs up your fear of losing him even more. At some point, the mood of the relationship becomes so unbearable that he leaves. Granted, this only applies to a relationship where you have a committed, exclusive relationship in the first place. Perhaps a better way to say it: You bring security, worth and well-being into your relationship and share it.
You bring these things into the relationship and share them. The reason for it is simple: When you bring good feelings into the relationship, the relationship feels good to be in! Relationships work best when both people come into it whole, happy and fulfilled, and as the relationship progresses, continue to view the relationship as a place that they bring their happiness into and share it.
Guys are highly receptive to the mood and energy of a relationship. When you make your mood a priority and live in a way that has you feeling happy on the inside… and you bring that happy emotional tone into the relationship… he will respond to it over time and start bringing that emotional tone into the relationship too. So this is what to do when a guy withdraws: Give the other person space to recharge your batteries.
Understand that giving your partner space to charge their batteries is a good thing. Live your life in a way that recharges your own batteries independent of your relationship. Your mood becomes your vibe. A good mood becomes a good vibe and a good vibe attracts love from every corner of your life. Feeding your fears will destroy your vibe, which will destroy your relationship. Feeding your joy will bring joy into your relationship, which will improve your relationship with every passing day.
If you want some great advice on how to give a guy space, take a look at the following article: But there is more you need to be aware of.
Most guys will start to pull away at some point. They may even lose interest. Do you know how to handle it when this happens?
If not, you run the risk of making a common, and major, mistake that might push him further away so be sure to read this next: Is He Losing Interest?