Do Women Have an Advantage in Dating? July 3, By Liz Rave 23 Comments This was originally posted on March 25, , but it was accidentally created as a new tab instead of as a new blog post. I am now moving it here into the blog to maintain the visual integrity of the website as in, the site looks better this way. I could not move it and retain the original comments, so I have copied and pasted all the original comments below—they are too juicy not to include!
But do women really have an advantage over men in dating? Well, yes, and no. I know that when I go out, I get approached more than most men do or ever will.
I know that if I was single and felt horny, I could just walk outside and easily find several willing sex partners. I know that this is not true for most men in the world. It sure seems like it. What does it mean to have an advantage over someone else? An advantage is a position of superiority that allows you to gain something more easily than someone else.
In sports, we look down on athletes who use performance enhancing drugs because it allows them to win the game more easily than someone who is clean.
In contrast, we admire an athlete who has put in more practice hours, even though that will also give him or her an advantage in the game. What makes men so angry about the advantage that women have in dating is the same reason why we get angry at people who cheat at a sport or game: While this mentality is useful when it comes to regulating games and sport, it is highly problematic when it comes to dating for two reasons: There are no set rules to dating , and more importantly, there is no authority policing or regulating whether or not people are following such rules.
Not everyone is playing the same game. Let that second one sink in for a minute. When I hear men complain about the advantage that women have in dating, they usually cite examples like: A starting gun goes off and a man and a woman both enter a bar at the same time. Who is your money on? What about if the object of your game is to get the most free drinks, meals, and movie tickets?
What about the game of getting laid the most, and with the most ease? Women totally have an advantage at this game too. Because gold diggers aside , most women are NOT going into the dating world with these objectives. Most women are going out there with the object of their game being: And when THAT is the object of your dating game, being taken out to dinner is nice and appreciated, but not necessary, and desperate men who approach you are a waste of your time and a distraction from your actual objective.
One gender does not have an advantage over the other in the journey of seeking a good match. The dating world is only unfair to men who think that dating is about getting sex without spending too much money or putting in too much effort to do so. This is a grim and childish way to view dating. I know that not all women are angels—some of them do go out looking to get free drinks and attention from men, and that is also a childish way to date.
But guess who gives them that attention? The same guys who complain about how unfair dating is and how much easier women have it these days. If you want to level the playing field, then play the game of: This does not mean that you have to get into a long term, monogamous relationship.
Ok, but wait, what about the fact that men want sex so much more than women do? Does that give women a natural advantage? We do want sex, and lots of it! Just not with the kind of man that walks around feeling bitter and angry about the fact that women have an easier time getting a free drink at the bar. Whether you want to get married or not, be monogamous or not, if the object of your game is to have fun and meet people that you actually connect with, then you will find that women will be more than happy to meet you there.
No pedestals, no disadvantages, no bullshit. So, do women really have an advantage in dating? Not in the world of emotionally mature dating anyway. This was originally posted on March 25, , but it was accidentally created as a new tab instead of as a new blog post.