You have to be sensitive to how your friend is feeling and also not totally rude to their ex unless their ex is a horrible person — in that case, give them the cold shoulder all you want! Nothing will alienate a friend quicker than them finding out you are spending quality time with their former bae.
There are just certain rules you need to follow if you want to be a good friend! The chances are too high that they will get back together, and then you'll have to deal with all the bad stuff that you said.
Try and be supportive of your friend during the breakup without vilifying the other person. Saying things like, "You just weren't the right match" and "I can't wait until you find someone who really appreciates you" are positive ways of showing you're there for your friend. There is no reason to be rude to someone just because they are no longer dating your friend. At the same time, though, you don't need to be super close with their ex if you weren't super close with them before these two started dating.
While your friend is still feeling devastated and the breakup is fresh, avoid hanging with the ex as much as possible. This can be tricky if you have the same friends, so if you end up hanging with the ex in a group, just be honest to your friend about it - trying to hide it will make things worse.
The exception to the rule is if you were friends with the ex before those two started dating. If this person is a good friend of yours, then there's no reason that friendship can't continue just because their relationship ended. Just be respectful and don't shove it in your friend's face for a little while.
It might be hurtful to your friend if she sees that you are blowing up their ex's Facebook wall. Refrain from being all over their social media profiles soon after the breakup. It's all about showing loyalty and solidarity with your friend while still being a nice person! Staying friends with both people will be tricky, but just requires some basic respect. However, there are a few things to watch out for.
One, the ex may be trying to get back at your friend for the breakup. They could be lonely and looking for a surefire way to hurt your friend Also, your friend might even give you the green light to date her ex, but inside she's not okay with it.
It's very rare that a person can see their former flame with a friend and not have negative feelings about it. Better to be safe than sorry - stay away from romantic relationships with your friends' exes unless you are looking to lose a BFF! If you date the ex behind your friend's back, you will have destroyed her trust. Be honest with your friend about your feelings. She may not respond the way you want her to, but telling her is the right thing to do. Even if the gossip you are telling her makes the ex looks bad, it's better to not talk about them at all.
Help her move on with her life by focusing on the positive rather than the negative. There's no need to be super nice to the ex, but there's also no reason to act rude. This is between your friend and her, not you. Don't get in the middle of things. If you don't have a personal problem with this person, there's no reason to completely cut them out of your life just because your friend doesn't date them anymore.
Be your own person! What do you disagree with? What did I forget? Tell me in the comments!