You were addled with anxiety , plagued by concerns over your performance, and worried about the worthiness of your physique during lovemaking. Even if the act achieved the idealized heights of a Hollywood screenplay -- she melted at your touch, you thundered like a stallion, you writhed in unison to volcanic climax -- you still harbor suspicions: For creatures so famously consumed by thoughts of sex, men remain remarkably confused about what great sex is and how to have it.
We men could also work on our mechanics. To rephrase a famous question: Of course we can. But first we should decide what great sex is. For other men, it might mean being able to last three minutes. Being a great lover means becoming a great lover to your particular partner, and that requires doing something very difficult: Take Up Pillow Talk Right. Tell her what you want. Ask her what she likes. Shoot for trust and openness. Continued Great Sex Tip 2: Less apt than women to discuss their insecurities and more inclined to exaggerate their exploits, men paint distorted pictures of their sex lives for one another.
Great Sex Tip 3: But a lot of it they did. And that can be a problem. Populated as it is by flawlessly formed women and men with etched abs and equine endowments, adult entertainment makes many guys wonder: What am I doing wrong? Or, more to the point: These are not average men.
There are positives to porn -- it can, for example, inspire us to greater sexual exploration. But when Debbie Did Dallas, she also did damage to the way men often think about sex. And the demands and distractions of our daily lives. Stress is an enemy of great sex. So is anxiety about performance. Minimizing both helps maximize your enjoyment of your partner. She recommends that men adopt a mantra: But I prefer to focus on the idea of the right fit. For some women, men of modest size may be a perfect fit.
Concentrate on kissing, cooing, caressing -- the full panoply of sexual pleasure giving. Great Sex Tip 6: You can develop sensual rituals, make romantic gestures in anticipation of your encounter. You can give each other massages or take a shower together. Castleman says that scheduling sex also eliminates conflict over desire differences.
But what astonishes people once they start scheduling sex is that they can actually enjoy it.