Often these myths get repeated constantly in the mainstream media, because of laziness or the success of the feminist narrative. But the truth today is far more positive. International dating agencies are much more professional, technological changes have made some of the most common scams from the early years impossible, and, although it is odd, some of the changes demanded by the feminist have made it safer for men and women. Finally, both Western men and women around the world have a more realistic understanding of the pros and cons of seeking a mate overseas.
That may be the most important change of all. She is amazingly positive about international dating. Zug admits that when she first started researching international dating she was influenced by the pervasive feminist propaganda. She writes that, As I started my research, I expected to find that modern mail-order marriages are fundamentally harmful and that these problems are long-standing.
I was surprised that this is not what I found. The more research she did the more she realized that modern transnational romance was not destructive and sometimes criminal.
She discovered that much of the feminist propaganda was based on unproven theories not government reports, data from the dating agencies, or, most importantly, systematic interviews with the actual couples.
Yes, there had been a tiny number of tragic cases, most famously the Svetlana King murder, but most of the harshest criticism was completely unfounded.
For Zug this was a shock, but eventually she realized that generally international dating is good for men and often the single most positive event to ever happen to the women.
Instead, like most of us, they are simply men and women who believe marriage will improve their lives, and we should support their choice. And that is impressive, but what is more impressive is that this conclusion was published by one of the most respected academic presses in the United States.
Academic presses require outside reviews by other professors before they publish a book and if the outside reviewers object the book will either not be published or re-written to address the objections of the other academics. Only ten years earlier in Congress passed The International Marriage Broker Regulation Act of IMBRA on the assumption that international dating was vile, destructive practice that needed to be tightly regulated. It gives plenty of evidence to answer any reasonable concerns.
That is simply a media fiction. Sure, there are isolated cases where a girl cons some poor guy out of some cash and then takes off once she gets her papers, but the reason you hear about these things is because they sell newspapers and get ratings on TV. This sort of thing is NOT happening all the time.
There are millions of sweet, sexy, and caring young women that truly want a long-term relationship with a Western man.
One explanation for this might be the fact that both the bride and groom have a real expectation to make this work. Many people will say that these women are only interested in marrying foreign men because it improves their standard of living.
Lisa Simmons, whose dissertation is easily the best academic study of the modern mail order bride phenomenon, and her discussion of why women around the world are seeking out Western men deserves to be quoted at some length.
In addition to believing that marrying a foreigner would contribute to financial security, all of the women in my sample strongly articulated the belief that an American man would make a better emotional partner than would a man from their own country. They felt that a marriage should be based on mutual love and respect; and they wanted a man who would be able to provide the sort of emotional support that they felt was not easy to find among their own countrymen.
The emphasis on quality of relationship was an unexpected finding because this aspect of international marriage has not been the focus on much media coverage. Divorce rates must also be considered when it comes to this myth. A recent essay on Russian mail order brides at Columbia University admitted that… Nonetheless, mail-order marriages are less likely to end in divorce than marriages overall in the United States: If you will remember back a few years, there was a stigma about using online dating sites like Match.
Mail order brides helped settle the frontier. International dating is not just some strange modern development like chai lattes. International dating simply takes the idea of online dating and moves it to the next level. Just years ago, think about how difficult, time consuming and expensive traveling around the world was. Now, the world is literally at your fingertips.
With cell phones, the internet, cheap and even free international calling, supersonic jets, and relatively inexpensive travel expenses, making global connections is easier than ever. You can literally make meaningful romantic connections with anyone anywhere in the world. It just makes you wonder how many people missed out on truly meeting their soul mates in generations past because they were unable to travel easily on an international scale.
With international dating you can also get away from the mundane. When you meet and cultivate a relationship with someone from another part of the world, you get to learn all about a culture other than your own. It can also give you a good reason to travel to places you never imagined visiting. It really does add to the adventure. This can be rewarding for both you and her on so many different levels. When you look at everything foreign dating has going for it, it certainly seems MUCH more appealing than just meeting that boring girl next door… International Dating Agencies Are All Just Scams While there are a lot of scams out there, that could certainly be said about almost anything these days.
Not only do we watch out for the scammers for you, but we also give you the scoop on shady operations, or anything else that we deem to not be on the up-and-up. We want your quest for finding the love of your life to be as risk-free and enjoyable as possible.
Here are some tips to keep your quest for love on the right track: This is a big one… Never send money to a girl! This will minimize your risk substantially. These types of responses are a huge red flag that something is not right. If someone is trying to pressure you into a rushed decision regarding marriage or anything else, you need to take a step back and evaluate the situation. Know what the fee structures and costs look like going in and budget your spending wisely.
Just because you got your heart broken, does not mean you got scammed. Make sure your expectations are realistic going in. Can you find the love of your life through international dating? Will it be the first person you start talking with… Who knows? The big thing to take away from this list is to do your homework and use common sense. These women have a lot of good reasons for wanting to pursue a Western guy. The biggest thing is that they all come from highly paternalistic societies and they know that Western men treat their women better.
And of course, they want more economic opportunity for themselves and their children, sure but most money is not what they are really looking for, not first. What these women really want love, romance, and respect. They often do not get a lot of respect at home. You greatly minimize your risks by being smart AND working only with reputable agencies. There are literally thousands of dating agencies on the web, some of them are downright shady. Below is a list of International Dating Sites you might want to take a look at; they are the best known, biggest and are generally considered to be the most legit of the bunch.
We also have in-depth reviews of many of these agencies on our website over at website: