There is also a letter with four questions you can have mom and dad fill out for each girl. They will LOVE and treasure this letter. Included is a page of awesome quotes that are really relevant to the youth.
There is also a print with 40 cheap and fun group dates. That is a great handout! Here are some thoughts on this subject by Shannon: Most youth love to talk about dating. It is what they think about and what to know more about! Whenever we talked about it, their eyes lit up and I had their total attention and I consistently felt a great need to bring this back into the lives of our youth.
The statements in this pamphlet are so inspired. They were used as a rallying point in battle. How applicable that symbol is for all of the standards in For the Strength of Youth.
These are the points that the youth must battle — so they raise their standards, like Captain Moroni did. If a youth chooses not to raise that standard, they run the risk of defeat. Dating is one of the standards that the youth must raise. So, how well do they know, and follow, these standards? The question is what are their standards around doing so?
It is worth a good discussion with them, and here are some questions that can help. I would ask the youth these questions and see how they would answer these on their own, and then I would be prepared with counsel, quotes and scriptures to teach them further. What is a date? Setting aside the dangers of hooking up, what about those social skills gained as youth date a variety of people? One of the dangers of this attitude is that many young men and women take this into their college years.
Note what Elder Dallin H. Hanging out consists of numbers of young men and young women joining together in some group activity. It is very different from dating…. An occasional group activity is OK, but when you see men who make hanging out their primary interaction with the opposite sex, I think you should lock the pantry and bolt the front door. Hence, the next question: What is the purpose of a date? My girlfriends and I would always talk about waiting for the guy to get the car door, or to hug or not to hug when he walked you to the door at the end of the night.
We would giggle and laugh through this wonderful phase of our lives. And date-by-date we would gain more confidence and the social skills to take us into our college years, where dating had a different goal. But we were practicing with each other — and it was so fun! Imagine the possible consequences of youth in their teenage years put off gaining these social skills until they reach college.
How could that impact their ability to find an eternal companion? How might that impact their confidence in doing so? It may be interesting to have this conversation with the youth about how their dating behaviors now and not just chastity can help them prepare for their future families. This can be a pretty sensitive topic with certain youth who would love to date, but seem to never be asked.
Just like the young men who are aware at the dance and make sure that every girl gets to dance — how wonderful if they made sure that each girl also gets to go on dates and gain these same experiences. It is good for young men and young women to learn to know and to appreciate one another. It is good for you to go to games and dances and picnics, to do all of the young things. We encourage our young people to date. We encourage you to set high standards of dating.
What are some of the dangers and pressures on the road? Driving and dating have a lot in common. There are a lot of pressures involved — and those that love the youth recognize that they can begin to handle them at 16, but there are still a lot of standards involved to help them be able to be strong through them — just like there are laws accompanied with driving.
I love this standard because it is something that the youth can do with exactness. And as with all of the standards: One common excuse is that some feel that they are more mature than others, so they can begin earlier than This is what President Boyd K. Packer said about this: Maturity may vary from individual to individual, but we are convinced that dating should not even begin until you are And then, ideal dating is on a group basis. Steady dating is courtship, and surely the beginning of courtship ought to be delayed until you have emerged from your teens.
Developing serious relationships too early in life can limit the number of other people you meet and can perhaps lead to immorality. Blessed be the youth who helps change this dangerous belief and helps others recognize and feel value as they live the standards.
Your job is to stand back and let each other grow and become the kind of people you want to marry. But this very attraction becomes as a powder keg unless it is kept under control. It is beautiful when handled in the right way. It is deadly if it gets out of hand. This rule is not designed to hurt you in any way. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself. It may not be easy, but it is possible.
This is perhaps one of the most powerful quotes I have seen on this: If you are old enough to date, you are old enough to know that your parents have not only the right but the sacred obligation… to concern themselves with your dating habits. If you are old enough to date, you are old enough to see the very foolishness of parents who would loan their children on any such arrangement.
He was grateful that they treated his wife with respect, that the boys took her on dates and showed her what a gentlemen was, that they respected her worth and her virtue — so that when it was time for them to meet and marry, she was ready, prepared, and looking for that. It would be interesting to have a conversation with the youth about how this attitude would impact their dating experiences. What kind of dating activities should be planned? They like them to be safe, casual yet planned, and not expensive — and many of the boys were often surprised by this.
They thought the girls wanted grand productions all of the time, when actually the opposite was so. It would be fun to compile a list of fun date ideas for the youth to look through and keep on hand. What should be your standard for what types of places to go on dates? There is no better way to ruin a date than to take a virtuous young woman somewhere where she feels uncomfortable.
This standard should be held up to every place, type of entertainment, and what time she should be taken home. Generally, who should take the initiative in asking for, and planning, dates? Those same youth also felt that expecting a guy to get the door, or pay, during their date was some kind of sign of weakness in the young woman.
This is about a young man showing respect and honor to a young woman. A young man is choosing to completely honor her! This should never become old fashioned! I have a daughter that will one day be 16, and you can count on the fact that I will be watching to see if that young man will treat her as we expect. This should be the standard. We just treat each other well. And if you want to see how I personally felt about this whole topic in my dating life, check out this story about how I met my husband.
How can you signal to the young woman that you are about to get the door for her? What if there are double doors walking into a building? They will thank you for the know-how! How should one ask, accept, or decline a date? What should they say when accepting a date? Or how can they decline without making them feel badly? Or how can they decline even though they wished they could go? It would be great to have some conversations about this so they feel prepared for these moments.
It is also appropriate to talk about the relationship of charity and dating. How should you act while on a date? If a youth is able to go on a date where the plans all go wrong, but they are able to listen and talk to each other — it could be a great success! Likewise, if they come home feeling like there were too many awkward silent moments, they may hesitate to date again in the near future. Your child may roll their eyes, but they will likely use a lot of what you talked about!