Gentlemen, you know exactly what I know—a woman's lips are softer, smaller, and more beautiful than your own. And those women's lips have their own needs, which are not exactly the same as yours. What I've gathered from talking to scores of women about their experiences with boyfriends and potential boyfriends—even with their husbands—is that many men would benefit from a few instructions from someone who's been on both the giving and the receiving end of kissing a woman's lips.
Expert Advice on Kissing: From a Woman for Women 1. You don't need stop the sweaty palms, the beating heart, the worries in your head about how she'll respond to the first kiss. Just relax those lips! Just like you, a woman appreciates that first soft touch. If your pucker-muscles are already in gear, she'll feel like she's run into a wall. If every other man she's dated has started with hard lips, what she'll notice is that you have started the kiss out right where all others have failed.
Lips are not always the best first "target. Hold her close, lean in the target is obviously not her lips so she won't be tense and place a kiss almost as soft as a butterfly right between her eyebrows, then back out again, and make eye-contact. Other spots go well for "first-contact," too.
Think about the "slow-dance kiss," that one where you're cheek to cheek and you turn your lips up against the softness of her cheek. It'll leave her wondering if it was a kiss or not. It doesn't matter, but it makes her feel good. Don't kiss the tip of her nose the first time around, though. That's the sort of thing you do to a child, not a woman.
Once you've reached her lips, spend a little time letting those soft lips of yours brush against hers. There's a reason "his lips brushed against hers" is a phrase found in many romance novels. That slowness is much sexier than "a moment later, his tongue was in every corner of her mouth. Know when it's time for tongue. Use your relaxed lips to nibble or gently tug at hers.
This gives you both a chance to open your mouths just a little bit. Remember, she's wondering if you're going to kiss and if it's going to be a good one. An open mouth is a step in the process and it deserves its rightful place between the closed-mouth kiss and the more intimate kiss. If her mouth doesn't open, back off. Look into her eyes again. See how she appears to be feeling, and if you're not sure, there's no harm in asking in a gentle voice. Use the tongue properly.
Okay, you seem to have the go-ahead for tongue. Perhaps she even initiated that part. One very important thing to hold in mind, gentleman and please, I'm not trying to insult you, it's just that I've heard it too many times , is that your tongue is not your. Thrusting it in and out is not sexy.
You might be able to try that when things are a little more hot and heavy, for a short time at least.
Dart your tongue in and out, once. Pause, then do it again. Get inventive—take her lip between your tongue and lip, gently, and let it slide free. Then go for it, gently.
Listen to her body language. From here on out, it's up to you. Yep, the build-up is all I can tell you about, because from there, it's all about listening to her. Does her breathing speed up or slow down?
Tiny little noises in her throat? On the other hand, is she trying to please you? If she seems aggressive, she might be, but maybe she's just trying to be to you what her last boyfriend expected her to be—a tongue-sucking servant to his ham-handed, infantile techniques.
If it's a first kiss and she's not taking your lead by going slow, do your best to check in with her, and make sure she's going fast or harder because she wants to. I know checking in is easier for women to do with other women but I can't help you there. When should you stop? Well, you should always follow her lead.
If it seems like she wants to stop, then it's time to stop. But you might want to think of this as a minute-long pulse. Come in close, open-mouth, then tongue, then enjoy for a minute, then gradually back out.
If she really wants to kiss for longer, she'll let you know! But no one's nerves are going to stay sensitive for long under the same stimulation. By all means, go in for a kiss again. This time, you can go straight to steps four and five. Other Ideas on How to Make Kissing Extra Special If you find that you're in a long kissing-only make-out session, you might want to throw in a little worship of her entire beautiful face. Kiss her eyebrows, her forehead, her earlobes.
Kiss her cheekbones, the smile-line at the corner of her mouth. Her lips will be all the more eager when you finally get there. When you're going into a very slow love-making session, and you have a moment where you're leaning over her, both of you ready to kiss, run your tongue against the edge of her lips so lightly that all you touch is the tiny hairs that grow at the edge.