And i lie about the littlest things. Matthew Richardson December 2, at Gene December 12, at 8: December 31, at Im ready to open up to her but im afraid of what she will think of me after i open up to all my lies. Our whole marriage is based on nothing but lies and im needing help on how to open up to her and be my self. If anyone can help me with this it would be greatly appreciated. Im the type that holds stuff in as well btw… Jemma.
C January 5, at 1: I had been lying to him about this for almost a year and when the truth came out t was such a relief it caused us to breakup and I was devastated and felt so bad. He said if u tell me something is blue and its yellow we will be finished. What other help can I get…… Pakrick January 8, at 1: My wife is a notorious liar!
Then i heard her put it down next to me. How do I get through? How do I talk to a person like that? It was much easier to avoid the whole situation with a simple white lie. She never gave much disciple, but always threatened to tell my father. But it causes you to stuff up your real feelings and thoughts in the long run. It causes you to feel undeserving of acceptance. My question is for the author: I think that line stuck out to me so much because I can see how my upbringing influenced this behavior but how do I finally get it through to my child self that I can be honest?
What did you do? Too little to late February 6, at 9: For no reason at all, and just recently I lost my girlfriend because of it. But I digress, me and my ex girlfriend argued a lot about her. I see how after years and years of lies it becomes almost impossible to change it. I would have to cut ties with everyone move somewhere else and start again.
It used to be just a few things but my basic life was at least straight forward. I have lied about going to college,money, and my parents. I got my high school diploma. My dad used to work at a lawfirm but he was diagnosed a skitsofrania and living in Bridgeport collecting social security and money from his rich family. I lied about money bc I was in a lawsuit and received lots of money from it but there was rumors of more lawsuits so I told him.
But everything else I am honest about. I lied about those things specifically I know I lied I feel guilty. Am I a cumpolsi e liar or have issues?
Can you give me advice? Larissa March 7, at 1: March 28, at But for some reason, after being best friends and telling each other everything, I now find myself lying over little things, and stupid things. When we have issues my lies can get out of hand and as much as I tell her and myself that ill stop I seem to do it without even thinking.
When I get caught and confronted I only admit to it when she tells me she knows! I stick to it like if I could et away with it. I really want this to stop and I can figure out how: My mom used to hide purchases from my dad when we were little, and I also remember catching her once changing tags on a garment after she purchased it and returning it.
As the oldest of seven, I was always to be the responsible one, and there was no room for mistakes, because I needed to be a role model, and the first impressions are lasting ones.
When I told my opinion or the truth, I was yelled at, I was told my opinion doesnt matter because I am a child, and that I should do as I am told. I was not allowed to express myself in any other way unless they approved of it.
The only acceptance and positive reinforcement I received was with academics, which I excelled. I went to a very prominent university where I met my spouse.
I was very insecure and in a place of low-self esteem, and my spouse was there as a friend at the time, and encouraged me. He gave me support — mostly verbal, that I always wanted from my parents and relatives. I think that made me fall in love with him, being so giving and helpful.
I realize that my childhood interaction caused me to become a people pleaser, and I would lie to make other people happy or to cut me some slack, as I was always overextended and trying to do for everyone else. I hardly ever took time for myself and when I did I always felt guilty.
I started lying to feel some sense of independece that I never got at home, ironically, and I was always thinking in the back of my mind that my relationship would turn sour and I would need to fend for myself. My financial lies have gotten bigger and I kept trying to save face.
I am hanging by a thread on our relationship and this is the edge of the cliff. The sad thing is that there are other things that I have not disclosed and dont want to tip it over. The very thing I thought would happen in reality is happening because of the lies. He is now indifferent and doesnt feel that he can trust me. I dont know what to do, i have been to counseling but I dont feel that it is helping.
I know it takes time, but I feel like I dont have any time. I have a child and I would never want him to lie to me to save me any grief, but I am perpetuating the crap I went through in a different way to him. I have looked on several sites for information and hope that through Inner Bonding I can change how I feel about myself and know that I am adequate and enough as is, that whatever truth I share is important and I can be trusted again. I dont want to leave my spouse, but perhaps the absence is necessary for me to recover and transform into a new person.
I want to stop lying and hiding stuff thats so simple but i dont know what to do?