Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. This article brings serious discussion about marriage of single Muslim women in America in general and women in their forties and fifties in particular.
There are not enough Muslim men out there, and interfaith marriage is one of the few viable options, and most women rule out the idea of marrying someone from their home country as it does not work out culturally. A majority of Muslims quietly go along with it, some have a lot of questions and some are ready to quote verses from Quran and make declarations that they are out of the pale of Islam.
By the way, this is not a Muslim problem exclusively; it is a problem of all faiths, again it is not the faith, but the whims of the guardians of faith. This piece is not for Muslims who are robotic and cannot think beyond parroting Halal and Haram, i. This piece is for those Muslims who understand the essence of Islam which is to create cohesive societies.
He has created the earth and the heavens, planets and the systems and programmed them to function cohesively. We are composed of billions of unique cells but most certainly we can see that our bodies have several different organs, and all of them have to work together for us to live a normal life.
We are one planet, one earth and one system of creation and through one cause. That is one God. But, if you are struggling with the idea of pursuing a relationship with a man, who is not a Muslim, but you like him and want to spend your life with him and are tempted to be the Khadija, and then it is worth reading the entire words piece with most possible questions and answers and references.
Finding the truth is your own responsibility, and in Islam, no one is responsible for your actions but you and on one bears the burden of others. It is your decision and you have to live with it, so think through it. The answer to the question has always been an emphatic NO. Guarding the flock is a human trait and no tradition wants to lose a member of their tradition to the other, whether you are a Hindu, Christian, Sikh or a Jew, Republican, Democrat, Libertarian or new, indeed, any tradition for that matter.
Muslims are no exception either and there is no need to beat up on Islam for a deficiency in comprehension. This paper explores on possible causes for the Yes or No response, and what happens if that cause is not there anymore. The main source of Islamic knowledge is Quran and Hadiths that are authentic and reflect the personality of the prophet; a mercy to mankind.
Quran does not expressly forbid Muslim women marrying non-Muslim men and neither prophet has expressly forbidden it. Read the verses again particularly the oft quoted verses There is an advisement to marry with whom you are compatible, and whom you can live in harmony with. It is a relational guidance that a believing bondsman is better than a non-believing man and vice-versa for men.
The comparison is for one to understand that the social status is not important, but harmony is. Marriage is all about harmony — God wants his creation to live in harmony. After all, God is the one who puts love between two souls and it the couple who has to live their lives. But today, most people of faith are believers in God in one fashion or the other.
But those who do not believe in God will have difficulty to live with those who do believe, and it is not advisable to marry them. It is about compatibility and harmony and not religion or other case. The questions are endless, but the answer is a powerful one and that is accountability.
In the traditional societies parents rightfully feel responsible to guard the happiness of their offspring, where as parents in North America are learning to believe that their kids are independent and know what they want in their lives, and will find their own happiness. Ultimately they have to live their own lives and you cannot babysit them forever. American Muslim parents trust their kids to do the right thing and let them run their own lives.
Please note that this comparison is made with Muslims living elsewhere in the world. There is one segment of single Muslim women that is reaching an enormous percent of all the single women. They are simply looking to have a friend and a companion in their marriages and live their own lives. God wants nothing more for his creation than harmony and happiness. No woman should be denied her right to life, liberty and happiness. No one can push an American Muslim woman to marry anyone other than whom she wants.
By marrying someone she can be happy with, her faith remains strong, if not she would a Muslim in name. Some of us may not want to acknowledge it, but the 2nd and 3rd generation American Muslims will have their own Islam that differs from others in other lands. However the American practice of Islam would be closer to the one Prophet Muhammad pbuh practiced; a religion committed to building cohesive societies and caring for fellow humans and environment, in essence Islam tells you to mind your own business as you do on the Day of Judgment.
Indeed, we all have the same Islam and there is no doubt about it. Even our rules are divided into six different schools of thought. The Islam practiced by Baghdadi is not the same as the one practiced by any American Muslim. All of them are Muslims in their own right and none of us have the right or permission from God to belittle or denigrate the other. If God would have said no to a Muslim woman marrying a non-Muslim man, it would have been said in the Quran, there is not even an inference.
God does not make mistakes; instead he empowers us to figure out our own equilibrium. This essay is merely an expression of what many American Muslims are thinking but are afraid to express. I am pleased to present some thoughts to reflect on; ultimately the decision to marry rests in the hearts and minds of the individuals marrying.
It is their life and it is God who puts love in their hearts for each other. God bless the Interfaith and Interracial Couples! Despite their religious, racial or cultural differences, they are setting the new standards of civility by showing the world how to live in harmony. When people are showing extreme intolerance towards each other, the interfaith and interracial couples are showing the way to live in harmony and are contributing to the idea of one nation.
They are indeed exemplary patriotic Americans. If we can learn to respect the otherness of other and accept the God-given uniqueness of each one of the seven billion of us, then conflicts fade and solutions emerge. As a society, the least we can do is acknowledge them for their contributions towards the idea of one nation that is America.
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