The most repulsive and foul site for dating. They provide a private place for married men or women to go online and find other local people to have sex with without anyone ever finding out. However, this promise was temporarily suspended due to a mass hacking that saw 9. Either way, they deserved to be exposed. We were having trouble in paradise, but I have known him for years and we have been dating for over a year so the thought of any sort of infidelity never was something that crossed my mind.
He is a smart, nice, loving and moral person. For what felt like a few weeks, our relationship was going on a bit of a roller coaster of emotions because I was making a huge change in my career, lots of risk and stress.
I began to notice some strange things. He was more private with his phone, placing it face down or turning the ringer off or silencing the phone altogether. He needed a new phone and said his memory was slowing him down..
I started to question that as well. I spent about an hour one night when he was asleep going through his phone and apps, I just found it hard to believe he could have deleted or hid everything if there was something I should be worried about.
Sure enough, I found a few red flags. He had over 25 blocked numbers from his phone. Then I found a few blocked users on his Instagram, I had no idea who these people were either and mostly girls.
Lastly, in his messages I saw pictures of one of his friends with hookers. Naturally, I let him have it. I was so upset and felt so betrayed. Who were these girls? And why are you blocking them? And all these random numbers? He told me he blocked these girls to respect me. And my blood began to boil more. Instead I walked away to sleep in the other room and shed a couple of tears. I could barely sleep, when he woke up to go to work he was an ass.
Bad attitude and a mean spirit. I knew something was still off. Again, this is not an encouraged move for anyone but I was desperate for some answers.. I started with just looking at the browser history to see what was there. I nearly walked away until I logged into his email account. This was also wiped pretty clean.. When I looked in the trash folder I realized it was the one place he forgot to clean out. But since he had already opened them, I figured the damage had already been done.
When I opened the first Ashley Madison email my eyes were shocked. This was an alert telling him there were women in his area that would fit his criteria.
Without hesitating I hacked into his account to see what this was about. Sure enough, there it was.. The photo was one of me and him that he cropped me out when we were on vacation, I was crushed. Ashley Madison has it figured out for the cheaters though. Any conversations had are permanently deleted with no trail.
Granted, that would have probably only made me more sick but I was just trying to figure out whatever I could. How could he have a clear photo of himself up on a site like this? People you know could recognize you. This was when I realized not only was I dating a cheater but I was dating a fucking idiot.
I took photos of everything. Screen shots, pictures, notes, everything. Not only did I want it for proof, but I wanted to make sure if I started getting weak to think he was innocent, I had a reference to remind myself what a pathetic loser he is. He had been messaging me often during the day and I had been ignoring him until now. What are you talking about? And for the most part, that goes for even my closest friends and family.
But this time I was so confused. I could not believe what I had seen and what this reality was. I decided to call a friend of mine who knows him to tell her what was going on. She was in more shock than me.
When he walked in I told him to grab his things and leave. I strictly said get out, and he said no. I asked him point blank if he had dating accounts and he said no. Then I asked him again and he mentioned that they were just sign up sites from porn sites.
He continued to deny deny deny. Finally while he was in the middle of one of his speeches that I started to tune out, I printed out the profile from Ashley Madison of him with his information, preferences, status, and of course his picture.
This time he did. I found all I had needed to ever know. I logged out of everything and deleted my history. We had a very active sex life- almost everyday. How could he be longing for more? I rarely said no to him, like almost never. None of this made sense to me. I actively decided to change my mindset to smother myself in work.
Maybe not the healthy choice but I had two huge work events ahead and I had to be on camera not an actress just for a client , so I needed to look fresh and hide these emotions.
I am a very outgoing and loud person so if I would act blue or quiet, friends and colleagues would know something is up. If one person asked me what was wrong I knew I would burst into tears so it was time to fake the smiles and laughs to get through this. And it actually worked, at first. I was so busy with work, so busy either running from one venue to another or getting ready or talking with colleagues about their lives that I was completely ignoring my own personal life.
My friends started spending a lot of time with me and having sleepovers. This was also helpful. There was a bug in my brain telling me that I missed something. How on earth could I have missed anything- am I right? I jumped back on the email account and looked again. What I failed to notice last time because of my emotions and my distraught state of mind, was that their were multiple screen names to multiple accounts.
Not just Ashley Madison, but other dating accounts. Some of them were apps, some of them worked online. They all were very similar to the AM layout and platform. I could date one of them back to being created during the first month we started dating. Again, photos, screen shots, notes, you name it. I dug deep and hard. I found at least six different accounts- 4 that I could hack into and the others were phone apps. After this, I decided enough was enough. He started reaching out a lot.
When he showed up I almost instantly got emotional but I controlled it as much as I could. He told me he loved me and he never meant to hurt me. How many women did you sleep with? When did this all begin for you? What are these accounts about? He said he had begun therapy and also joined a church where he was meeting with the pastor every week. But I was done. He left and that was that. He has contacted since, says he is doing better, feeling really positive, and finding himself.
He said he has been to multiple therapists and found one in particular he really likes and also continues going to a Presbyterian church. I loved him, so much, and I really still do.