My brother is dating a black girl. Interracial dating exposes divide between teens and parents.



My brother is dating a black girl

My brother is dating a black girl

Rain Bennett My pregnant girlfriend, Maya, and me. Race was never an issue for Maya or me, but she did have to educate me on what life as a black woman is like. This ranged from explaining black hair culture to being the only person of color in a field dominated by white men. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman: She was the ice to my fire and changed me for the better as a person.

She was definitely the kind of girl you bring home to meet your mother. Before my mom came up to visit, my brother suggested that I might want to tell her Maya was black.

He thought she might have a problem with it. I thought he was overreacting. It turns out, he was right. Thankfully, we were at an event I was hosting and Maya and I were too preoccupied to get past formalities with my mom. She did agree that Maya was a great girl, but that only confused me more. It hurt me that I even had to have this conversation.

The words hit her hard. Courtesy of Rain Bennett Me and my mom. My mom grew up as a Southern Baptist woman in North Carolina during a racially segregated time. Her parents taught her to care for the well-being of everyone, and she instilled those values in me and my brother. She was involved in every team, classroom and scout group I belonged to and treated kids of all races just as she treated us.

Black and white people in my hometown got along in individual cases, but there was still a stark line between the two racial groups. Her silence hurt me worse than an ignorant person being ignorant. After that first conversation about Maya with my mom, I could tell she was still struggling with our relationship, but she never said anything to me directly.

I wanted to give her the time to work through it herself, though I found out later that my brother was mediating and talking with her constantly. Several months passed, and I decided to take Maya back home with me for my birthday celebration with my family. The night before we left, Maya could tell something was wrong with me. Unfortunately, you kind of get used it. You scared me, because I thought you were going to say you cheated on me! The birthday celebration was fun and Maya shined, as she always does.

After that trip, I noticed my mom making more of an effort. She would send Maya Easter baskets and birthday gifts and ask me about her more often. When Maya told me she was pregnant with our child last summer, I was elated, but as I fell asleep that night, somewhere in that happiness was the fear of how my mom would react. She was OK with us dating, but having a baby together? I decided I needed to tell her in person.

When I did, she sighed and paused, like she had expected this to happen. I could handle not agreeing with my mom on marriage or religion. I told her I was excited about this child and I needed her to be as well. I wanted my baby to be close to her grandmother, and my mom agreed. Our family is too important. We talked for over an hour about life, how short it is and how we should cherish what we have and who we care about. We must remain firm in our own beliefs and keep progressing as a society, but we also need to be understanding of others who might not be in the same place yet.

Love and understanding does. To quote my mom and many other Southern mothers: I asked my mom if she was worried about telling her husband about the baby. If he ever said anything negative about you or your brother, or someone you cared about like Maya Just months before, she was struggling to accept my interracial relationship.

I told her to give him the benefit of the doubt. I thought that spending real time with Maya would actually help him grow. If they get to know people they think are different from them, they might find out how alike they really are. No matter how ugly things get at times, no matter how much we disagree with one another, there is no replacement for family.

We must fight to keep it together, but at the same time we must fight to make it better. Months later, I brought a very pregnant Maya home for her first Christmas with my family. It was her first Christmas away from her family, too, so this was big for both of us. On Christmas morning, we all trotted downstairs to open presents. When Maya entered the living room, I noticed her glance up to see the stockings hanging from the mantel.

At that moment, I felt completely at home and at peace surrounded by the people I love, despite our differences. Rain Bennett Maya, my mom and me Have a compelling first-person story you want to share?

Send your story description to pitch huffpost.

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My brother is dating a black girl

Rain Bennett My pregnant girlfriend, Maya, and me. Race was never an issue for Maya or me, but she did have to educate me on what life as a black woman is like. This ranged from explaining black hair culture to being the only person of color in a field dominated by white men. She was everything I ever wanted in a woman: She was the ice to my fire and changed me for the better as a person.

She was definitely the kind of girl you bring home to meet your mother. Before my mom came up to visit, my brother suggested that I might want to tell her Maya was black. He thought she might have a problem with it. I thought he was overreacting. It turns out, he was right. Thankfully, we were at an event I was hosting and Maya and I were too preoccupied to get past formalities with my mom. She did agree that Maya was a great girl, but that only confused me more.

It hurt me that I even had to have this conversation. The words hit her hard. Courtesy of Rain Bennett Me and my mom. My mom grew up as a Southern Baptist woman in North Carolina during a racially segregated time. Her parents taught her to care for the well-being of everyone, and she instilled those values in me and my brother. She was involved in every team, classroom and scout group I belonged to and treated kids of all races just as she treated us.

Black and white people in my hometown got along in individual cases, but there was still a stark line between the two racial groups. Her silence hurt me worse than an ignorant person being ignorant. After that first conversation about Maya with my mom, I could tell she was still struggling with our relationship, but she never said anything to me directly. I wanted to give her the time to work through it herself, though I found out later that my brother was mediating and talking with her constantly.

Several months passed, and I decided to take Maya back home with me for my birthday celebration with my family.

The night before we left, Maya could tell something was wrong with me. Unfortunately, you kind of get used it. You scared me, because I thought you were going to say you cheated on me! The birthday celebration was fun and Maya shined, as she always does.

After that trip, I noticed my mom making more of an effort. She would send Maya Easter baskets and birthday gifts and ask me about her more often. When Maya told me she was pregnant with our child last summer, I was elated, but as I fell asleep that night, somewhere in that happiness was the fear of how my mom would react. She was OK with us dating, but having a baby together?

I decided I needed to tell her in person. When I did, she sighed and paused, like she had expected this to happen. I could handle not agreeing with my mom on marriage or religion. I told her I was excited about this child and I needed her to be as well. I wanted my baby to be close to her grandmother, and my mom agreed. Our family is too important.

We talked for over an hour about life, how short it is and how we should cherish what we have and who we care about. We must remain firm in our own beliefs and keep progressing as a society, but we also need to be understanding of others who might not be in the same place yet. Love and understanding does. To quote my mom and many other Southern mothers: I asked my mom if she was worried about telling her husband about the baby.

If he ever said anything negative about you or your brother, or someone you cared about like Maya Just months before, she was struggling to accept my interracial relationship. I told her to give him the benefit of the doubt. I thought that spending real time with Maya would actually help him grow.

If they get to know people they think are different from them, they might find out how alike they really are. No matter how ugly things get at times, no matter how much we disagree with one another, there is no replacement for family. We must fight to keep it together, but at the same time we must fight to make it better.

Months later, I brought a very pregnant Maya home for her first Christmas with my family. It was her first Christmas away from her family, too, so this was big for both of us. On Christmas morning, we all trotted downstairs to open presents. When Maya entered the living room, I noticed her glance up to see the stockings hanging from the mantel. At that moment, I felt completely at home and at peace surrounded by the people I love, despite our differences.

Rain Bennett Maya, my mom and me Have a compelling first-person story you want to share? Send your story description to pitch huffpost.

My brother is dating a black girl

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5 Comments

  1. I wanted to give her the time to work through it herself, though I found out later that my brother was mediating and talking with her constantly. The birthday celebration was fun and Maya shined, as she always does. My experiences date back as early as middle school, when I was infatuated with a black classmate for three years.

  2. The gravity of that is not lost on me. In addition, Multiracial Media will not and cannot censor or edit the content of any third-party site.

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