The next stage is either to sit and wait to be contacted by a potential date, or to look through the site and proactively start sending messages to potential dates yourself. Surely, one of the things any online dater would want to know is what type of first contact message is most likely to draw a positive response.
Should it be humorous, should it be factual, or should you just introduce yourself? Further, exactly how much should you say about yourself in this message? Sites such as Match. Asking a question allows someone to respond, which is more difficult with a statement. Be honest about yourself. The researchers carried out an ambitious analysis of , first-contact messages sent by 3, users.
A lower use of the personal pronoun I. More frequent use of the word you. More frequent use of words such as relationship and helpful. Should You Play it Cool? If you are the recipient of a first-contact message on a dating site, is it better to play it cool and not show too much initial interest, and make the message sender wait a while for a reply?
Contrary to what we might think, it has been demonstrated that eager replies are not perceived as a turn-off. Who Makes First Contact? Are there gender differences in who is more likely to make first contact? In their study, Hitsch, Hortacsu and Ariely found that: When it comes to responding, Fiore et al found that males replied to more first-contact messages than females 26 percent compared to 16 percent. This theory suggests that because of the relative risks that reproduction poses to males and females, males tend to overestimate female sexual interest known as an overperception bias.
Both males and females were more likely to contact potential dates who stated that they had a higher income and those who had been rated as physically attractive by independent judges.
However, in the online dating world, it is not uncommon for messages to go unanswered and ignored, and such behavior is not normally considered to be offensive. One possible reason for this is the degree of online disinhibition Suler, users experience in an environment in which they feel relatively anonymous. Even relatively impersonal responses such as simply saying "no, thank you," with no explanation are considered acceptable. Some people using online dating sites may not look at their messages that often or may have found someone and left the dating site altogether, even though their profile is still present.
People, profiles, contacts, and replies in online dating. A new perspective on biases in cross- sex mind reading. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78 1 , What makes you click? Mate preferences in online dating. Quantitative Marketing and Economics, 8, — The role of linguistic properties in online dating communication—A large-scale study of contact initiation messages. The online disinhibition effect.