Online dating can be exhausting. For the ethically nonmonogamous, this is the exact problem that a new online dating site hopes to solve. As on other online dating sites, OpenMinded users can create profiles, send private messages, share photos, and make plans to meet IRL. The ethically nonmonogamous population is sizable in the United States and increasing in visibility. In an interview with Psychology Today , independent academic researcher Kelly Cookson estimated that between 1.
In the past, the community has identified themselves as poly or open in their online dating profiles, often linking to the profiles of their other partners from their own. Now that sites like OpenMinded and 3nder —a poly alternative to Tinder—are beginning to emerge, poly folks have the option to use dating sites specifically designed for them.
Ethically nonmonogamous couples and individuals often participate in simultaneous, ongoing committed relationships. Occasionally this means dating several individuals separately , dating two other individuals together as a triad , or even dating within a small closed circle of partners.
Like any other type of dating, these relationships can be casual and primarily sex-based, and they can also be emotionally deep and lead to cohabitation and other forms of formal commitment. Many who are ethically nonmonogamous pride themselves on being honest and forthcoming with their partners. They are opposed to any type of dishonesty or violation of predetermined agreements that disrupt the trust among partners.
In other words, when practiced with honesty and care, ethical nonmonogamy is never synonymous with cheating. However, she did note that Wade and his wife have discussed opening their marriage. Despite the lack of direct experience that Wade and his team have had in open relationships themselves, they claim to have sought input from polyamorous organizations, individuals, and families in their site development process.
However, Bermudo would not disclose the specific names of people and groups involved in the research process. Erika, 32, joined last spring after the invitation to be a beta tester. She and her husband were relieved that there was finally a dating site specifically for their polyamorous dating style. Unlike Erika, however, he ultimately felt let down by the site.
At present, however, Daniel and others agreed that OpenMinded feels less developed than other dating sites despite its niche. But one point remains clear: The nonmonogamous community is ready for its own dating website. Illustration via Max Fleishman.