Or are you pressuring him too much? With a combination of tough love and strict dating rules, Stanger, 48, has carved out a matchmaking empire. Besides her show, which begins its third season Jan. She has also recently launched an online dating site, PSxoxo. Stanger knows firsthand how tough the dating world can be. An online dating veteran, she recently became engaged to real estate executive Andy Friedman.
What should women look for in a guy? If he's 40 or older, he should have friends who are married. If he's still hanging with a pack of guys and they're not married yet, he isn't going to marry. There was no way to recognize whether Woods would [cheat].
He's keeping her on ice. How is dating different for women in their 30s and 40s than in the 20s? In your 30s, you're usually on the baby track. You want a guy by Monday and a baby by Tuesday.
In your late 30s and early 40s, that window is closing, [so] you start thinking about you. We should be like that in our 20s, not just our 30s and 40s. We get the message way too late. We should start teaching this to our girls from puberty on: We can make babies, we can make just as much money, we don't really need [men] and we can multi-task.
We are much smarter than them. The younger you are, [the more likely] you are to make decisions based on what I call "catnip sex. He hasn't done anything — he probably hasn't even taken you out to dinner — and you think you're in love. What are the biggest mistakes women make on a first date? They get drunk because they're nervous.
You should never go past two drinks, even spritzers. You're going to make a mistake — your clarity is going to be clouded. The second thing is, you baggage dump. You talk about the ex, what went wrong in the divorce or the last boyfriend.
You think it's innocent, but it monopolizes the conversation and de-naturalizes sex. You no longer feel special to that person, nor does he to you.
What advice would you give to women insecure about their looks? Don't stop eating — work out. Are you saying that a good body is more important than personality? No, but it gives you confidence. When you're in shape and you feel good, you don't care whether you have a guy or not. Then he shows up! It's [something] that he can feel, like a vibration. When a guy sees a hot girl who's totally insecure, he's either going to sleep with her and drop her like a hot potato or he's going to walk away because of her insecurity.
We see that all day long. So how do you find Mr. Electronic trade shows are good. Go up to someone and say, "I don't understand how this works. If you want a millionaire, hit any steak joint between 5 and 7 p. What can a woman do to progress a relationship if the guy is commitment-phobic? Second, you need to become your own matchmaker. Tell him, "I've got plans that night. Unless you have an understanding of being together every Saturday night, get busy.
Men generally know in 10 seconds whether they want you. What qualities do you look for when matching men and women? I could say beauty, brains and class in a woman, but that doesn't mean anything.
Then I try to teach them the hindrances that are blocking them from finding love. Most people think, "Forget the writing. Do they have a good sense of humor? All that comes into account. Also, is the picture dated? What are your guy deal-breakers? Toxic men who are alcoholics or have addiction problems. You want to fix me? I'm not your girl.
But if you think I have to lose 10 pounds before you marry me, get a better job, change my hair color or get bigger boobs, hit the dirt. Why did you start your dating Web site? I didn't want to be teaching only millionaires. What about the masses? These people don't know what they're doing!
I was having the worst time on the Internet too! You go on a date, close the restaurant and think you've met your husband. But then you find out that he's trolling for new girls [after] you get home!
I'd never seen anything like that. Then I realized there's a method to the madness. There are guys who email you, ask for your number, take you to dinner. He has a few bucks in his pocket.
He may not be the best-looking guy, the richest or tallest, but he's usually marriage material. Any tips for women to improve their online dating profiles?
You have to make your profile and screen name conducive to men. You may not be the prettiest girl, but get a professional photo In the photo, don't hold a beer in your hand, don't hold seven puppies or six cats and don't put 25 guys in the picture with you. You recently got engaged. What made you decide to get married? He decided, not me! I broke every rule in the book; I let him get away with murder. It was a good and bad situation. I worked on my business and made it soar.
They have kids out of wedlock there. I'm from New Jersey and New York — we don't do that sort of thing. I think once I got famous and had ex-boyfriends contacting me from Facebook, he got nervous.
His sister said, "If you don't carpe diem [seize] this next year, she's out of your life. She'll probably start dating on the show. One of my matchmakers fixed me up. She saw that I was having a really bad time in L. There are a lot of good reasons why. First, I think it keeps them on their toes. He wants to see me way more than I want to see him. I've got work to do. And I'm a double Gemini and need my down time.
I don't want to go out. I love movies and reading tabloids. I love watching my soap opera ["As the World Turns"] every night. I would have been a chef if I wasn't a matchmaker. My parents owned a restaurant when I was little.