So why do we do it? Well, if the dating game today is anything to go by, then apparently we do. It seems that the dating world is full of guys being overly cool and girls being uncommonly cold. How then, can we find our perfect match if both guys and girls try their best to seem uninterested? Well, it might help to first figure out which side the players are on in this big game of indifference.
Hard to get vs uninterested A person who is playing hard to get will more than likely have other guys or girls that are interested in them. But if you find yourself in the situation of not knowing whether they will even answer your calls, then the chances are, you are not their type. The guy or girl playing hard to get will still give off those tell tale signs that we just mentioned. You will feel encouraged and even though they are playing hard to get, you can still talk to them and approach them.
However, if someone is not interested, you should have noticed an extreme change in their behaviour. Maybe initially they were approachable and keen, then after a while seem distant and unavailable. If someone is playing hard to get they will avoid hurting your feelings unnecessarily. Someone who is uninterested will just leave you hanging. They will also probably have another time and date in mind so you two can get together.
The uninterested person, if they have agreed to a date will not have a clear idea of when you can meet again in the future. The hard to get player will take a genuine interest in your life. They will remember things that you have told them and will try to bring up common interests in conversation. The uninterested person will remember very little of what you have told them and will try their best to avoid asking you anything too personal.
Quite often this type of person just needs someone to talk to or to give them advice. Should we play hard to get? You might have told all your friends that you are done with playing games, and you just want to be honest with the next person you date. Well, perhaps you should hold your horses!
A study in The European Journal of Personality presents data collected from a group of young men and women attending four different universities. The results show that those seeking a long term relationship had a better success rate when playing hard to get.
If you think about it, this makes absolute sense. Our subconscious is probably telling us that if your prospective partner is willing to put in the hard work, then they are probably in for the long haul. The problem with going down this path is that in all likelihood your love interest will be pulling the same stunt.
You could end up missing out on the love of your life because neither of you was willing to admit your interest in the other.