It would simply be a ridiculous notion and careless of me. I would however like to share with you some of my story and the wisdom I have learned over the past decades not only as a dating coach but also as a plus size woman. As an overweight child my mother taught me year after year and one crash diet after another that fat equaled ugly. That it was shameful to be fat and that men only find skinny women to be desirable because only skinny women are considered to be beautiful.
Many women and men out there have grown up with similar messaging from the ones they love. If you are walking around thinking the deck is stacked against you because you are of certain size, look or personality then you are aiding in making this notion a reality.
When someone walks around with this thinking they exude negative vibes and are often times found to be unattractive due more to their vibes then their physical appearance.
Bring the energy People are drawn to energy and it is one of the first things that is noticed about you. I chuckled recently when a client of mine called me the Energizer Bunny in response to a statement I made about a singles event that I was hosting in Minneapolis, MN. I see far to many overweight singles wearing clothing that does not flatter them.
Yes, I go shopping and I see many of the dreadful non-options out there. The choice of clothing and style is one of the greatest messengers that overweight people have. Choose what message you desire to send to the world.
Show them that not only is it important to you that you feel good about yourself but also you care that you look good. Learn to dress your body to hide your flaws and accentuate the parts of your body that rock. Keep yourself well groomed and have a high level of personal hygiene. There are so many great ways to visually and physically express you do take care of yourself and care about your appearance.
I see this time and time again, and all it does it work against them. If you are focused on your weight then so will other people. I have had clients come to me and share that they believe that they cannot find love because every date they go on ends with the other person not interested in them because they are fat. Understand that being an overweight single person does not make you unattractive. There are many variables that make up attractiveness and your weight is just one of them.
Accentuate the positives Share with the world all the beautiful things that make you who you are. There is nothing sexier then a man or woman that knows their value, is confident in themselves and shares their beautiful spirit with the world. There is so much more to you then your weight and let the singles out there know that in a positive, humble, alluring kind of way.
Maintain your confidence and self-esteem Self-esteem and confidence are two great influences on your dating life. Singles at any size struggle with confidence and low self-esteem but overweight daters can find themselves really struggling with these two. Learn how to develop and maintain your confidence and self-esteem. Do mental, emotional and physical exercises every day that will keep you healthy, full of confidence and build your self-esteem.
I leave you with this final bit of dating advice about finding love and happiness if you are overweight Whether you are a size 2 or 22 or 32 or 58 if you do not truly love yourself and are at peace with who you are, then it is going to be incredibly challenging to find love and happiness.
You need to love yourself first, be confidence in who you are and have a good amount of self-esteem to find meaningful love and happiness. When you shine for the world it notices and you attract many great things into your life. Two of those amazing things are love and happiness. Know that you not only deserve both but you are also worthy of them. Join the conversation below….