I lived and worked in NYC for a decade and therefore am really happy to be back in Austin. I love the art of pole dancing. I own a small business. Also, I'm a woman with her heart on fire for the strong, sensual feminine movement pole dance classes can offer. So I opened a studio dedicated to pole artistry. No big deal right? As I have jumped into the World of Dating, I've been learning otherwise.
I'm pretty sure that the Average Guy is kind of excited by the idea of dating a girl who takes a class here and there as he's thinking it's for him to "enjoy" at some point, but what about the one who takes her classes and competitions super seriously?
What about the woman who teaches? Or owns her own studio? The Feminist in me insisted I answer any, "What do you do for work? I've stopped being so open about it all. I found that too often the gentleman caller on the other end of the line was either too excited for what he seemed to assume would be greeting him upon our 1st or next meeting ummm So, when a dude was suddenly super dismissive as he incorrectly assumed I was or am working in a Gentleman's Club, I was neither pleased or amused with him.
Meanwhile, I decided to change my game. I edited my profile removed all mention of pole and business ownership , then when I received the very normal, "What do you do? When someone tells you they're a dance teacher what's the thing you ask them next? Indeed, you ask them to get specific on what kind of dance These days, I sidestep the question altogether until we are talking in person and I answer it honestly only if I give an eff about continuing to get to know him.
I unapologetically deflect the "What do you do Turns out, asking them to tell me how they feel about their work, which also provides insight on who they are as a Man, is the way to go.
I have yet to have a guy notice I'm avoiding his question directly. If I feel like they are the kind of guy I'd like to see again, I choose to share my love for the pole arts and community. It's a choice that, perhaps unbeknownst to him at the time, is not one I take lightly.
I share only with men who I think can handle the truth respectfully and reverently Recently, I found myself on a date with a man who I 'met' online.
I liked him enough, so I told him about my pole dance classes. He asked the usual questions and then some more until I finally asked him, "What do you think about all of this?
I had never heard of any of that before. I don't think I know enough to have an opinion yet. He's not a man who jumps to conclusions. And so I realized I kind of like him. She dotes on her rescued cat, Kitty Bon Bon, is obsessed with her Instagram account and hopes you'll tag her BonBonSerena to tell her when you come out as a poler in your dating process. If you have an in with Eminem, she's begging you to make the introduction.