These are our opinions. These articles about sex are to promote conversation, so if you agree or disagree with what we say, please feel free to leave it in the comments. Discussion, much like sex, is a healthy part of life. And as always, you do you. Everyone likes totally different sensations in bed, so everyone starts from the beginning when faced with a new vagina. Your inexperience here is a complete non-issue in terms of skill.
The only rule you need to know ahead of time is to be careful about where your teeth end up! Sure, people take some tips and tricks with them from partner to partner, but in the end communication will win.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying things like: This sex is partially about you. Second, feedback is about your partner, not just about you. Most of the time, my advice revolves around communication.
But I do recognize that sometimes practical tips need to exist, because confidence. So, here are just a few tips and tricks: Your tongue is three dimensional and has many different surfaces. You can lightly suck on things.
Why should you use your whole mouth, you ask? Try a bunch of different tactics: You can also tease the vaginal opening with your tongue, or get really wild and dip your tongue all the way in. Like pretty much all of your concentration and focus. Are We Supposed to Make Noises? Like anything else, it works for some people and not for others. Such as that my neck winds up in during vagina-style oral sex. I resisted the aid of pillows for a while, thinking it would be unsexy to ask people to lift their butts up so I could put a pillow underneath them before going to town.
What is less sexy, though, is ceasing mouth-to-vulva contact because you have the equivalent of a charlie horse in your neck. Using pillows or furniture to get the perfect position is a great way to go. Or you can have them sit on your face if your neck gets tired. There are all sorts of other things you can do while you are orally sexing — fingers in the vaginal opening, fingers in the anus, butt plug, g-spot vibrator, nipple pinching and outer-thigh slapping.
In fact yes, I do challenge you to do that. What are 50 other things you can do in bed while your mouth is on a vulva? I advocate for an enthusiasm much like the following: Period sex can be hot.
If you are not fluid bonded and STI tested, please consider making your sex safer by using dental dams and gloves regardless of the time of the month. Which means you get to have a rol licking good time as well. So go forth, reader, and put your mouth on a vulva.
Have a question about sex? Email me at ali [at] autostraddle. Please keep your questions to around, at most, words. Due to the high volume of questions and feelings, not every question or feeling will be answered or published on Autostraddle.
We hope you know that we love you regardless.