Guys will not marry women with kids I am talking about people between the ages of 18 - 35 here. Some guys may not admit publicly that they are highly unlikely to marry a woman with a child not everyone is Joseph who married a pregnant Mary even though they may have a child themselves.
Therein lays the hypocrisy. But that is not the issue at play here. The discussion is about women who have children with other men out of wedlock, and then end up breaking up with those men and get left with babies to raise. Now, before you chew my head off, I know that there are some guys who have married women who have children with another man - sometimes women with children not from just one man.
Interestingly, women will marry a guy with as many children from as different women as Steve Hofmeyr. They will marry a guy with a child without much pause yes, I am aware of the generalisation I am making.
Women are more likely to have no problem with marrying a guy with a child than guys. A week or so ago, I asked the following question on my Facebook status: Men were in general agreement that they were unlikely to marry a woman with a child. The women were horrified. Funny enough, this has nothing to do with the child in most instances. Of course this may not make sense to women. But it makes perfect sense to guys. There is a lot of ego involved. Logic does not apply to ego. The ego has its own rules.
The ego wants what it wants in whatever way it wants it. But this raises a fundamental issue in our society. First of all, you have the issue of children growing up without fathers because they are unwilling to take responsibility for the children they were very actively involved in making.
And their involvement was not just that of a spectator. It was a very active, sweaty, heavy-breathing and funny face-making moment. They were very, very involved. Now these women and children get punished for something two people were involved in.
What this means is that we have to be responsible. Men and women must stop thinking about temporary pleasure. Sometimes temporary pleasure leads to a lifetime of unplanned responsibility. We all watched Intersexions people. We know what towning does, and Aids is just one of them. To get an explanation on what "towning" is, please see this blog. The real issue here is not the woman with children out of wedlock, the issue is the men who leave them after making them pregnant. Then when it comes to the abortion issue, women are the ones who get the side-eye for going to abortion clinics when there were two parties involved.
Widows on the other hand are a different story. There will be no politics with the father. The issue is never really about the child. It is about the father who still roams the streets. We need to be a responsible generation. Let us not do unto children what was done to some of us. We have choices and we are smarter than that. Since women are the ones who are often left with the burden of responsibility, I think that women should be extra vigilant about who gets into her pants with no rubber.